Patience is soooo freaking hard! Day in and day out our kiddos may ignore us, leave their laundry on the floor right next to the hamper, leave the table without cleaning up, fight constantly with a sibling or talking back to a parent or caretaker.
I feel like my kids never listen unless I raise my voice. I don’t yell often, but sometimes, jeez…. Why can’t you just hear me the first 18,000 times I said something?!?
I’ve read so many parenting books and listened to audiobooks and still I can’t apply their lessons when I need them most. And, then after a parenting low, I put myself to bed only to feel guilty for raising my voice or I wasn’t as charming as a Disney Princess that day.
One thing I know is that when the kids are losing their bananas, we need to keep ours intact.
Here are some helpful tips to help you keep your bananas intact:
- Identify your triggers: It is very important to recognize the moment when you’re starting to lose your patience. When does it normally happen? Bedtime? Witching hour (around dinner time and bedtime for your kids)? When you’re making dinner? Is there a particular person that is more likely to trigger you?
- Be Mindful: Take note of how you act with your child’s behavioral changes: How does your body responds when you get triggered? What kind of thoughts do you have? How do you normally respond to all the stimuli? All of this information will help you picture the situation better and pinpoint when you are most vulnerable to going over your tipping point. We ALL have one!!
- Developing a plan to handle triggers better:
- First, become aware of your triggers and your tipping point, then come up with a plan or strategy to better handle these moments. NONE of us think well when we are overstimulated and stressed out. It’s important to figure this stuff out in advance and be aware of when it’s happening. It is important to get your family aboard. This can be challenging if your trigger is a toddler. If your kids are a bit older, talk to your family about the plan, rules, and expectations, also mention the consequences if they’re not met.
- Practice calming exercises like deep breathing and self-calm talk. Also, screaming into a pillow is totally acceptable 😉 At times, it’s my go-to move now that I spend 24 hours a day with my family for the past 11 months, 13 days, and 9 hours… but who’s counting?
- Calm down and follow up on what happened with your child and try to solve problems.
- Self-Care: Do the things you enjoy and take care of yourself as much you would for others. It’s a difficult task but we’re all trying to find some balance! I’m horrible at this and then I resent… so much resentment…. Take time to do things and recharge yourself.
- Apologize when you lose your patience. It will only help by modeling the behavior you would like your child to do.
We ALL Lose It!
And if done right, it’s healthy. This may be an area of growth for you and it wasn’t model correctly at home when you were growing up. This is your chance to slowly change your own way to respond to stimuli and triggers.
Losing patience can also be helpful as it helps you to recognize you are being stretched too thin or you may need a timeout for some self-care.
We can feel underappreciated at times and we all feel overwhelmed, we’re human after all. Patience is all about steady perseverance.
Show yourself some grace! In the end, we’re all trying to do the best for our children even when we feel like giving up. And, from one Momma to another Momma, you’re doing an amazing job, even on those days, you don’t feel like it. You’re reading this post, aren’t you??? That already shows how amazing you are and how much you care about your kids.
Here are some books I’ve loved. I’m still working on how to apply these lessons in the moment, but I felt my Momma self-growth tank was filling up after reading them.
And, we have some great videos on our YouTube Channel and on our website.
The information on this website is designed for educational and/or entertainment purposes only. The information provided is not intended to be a substitute for informed medical advice or care. Please consult a doctor with any questions or concerns regarding your child’s condition. You should not use this information to diagnose or treat any health problems or illnesses.